Well before websites and social media pages but in the recent past, ennui set in and I zipped off a missive to the makers of my favorite candy recommending they market their product to people quitting smoking. I never smoked and never received a reply.
Ferrara Pan Candy Company
7301 Harrison Street
Forrest Park, IL 60130
Dear Fiery Friends,
Having found your address on the wrapper of one of your delicious, individually-packaged candies coupled with the promise of “nutritional facts just for writing” has prompted me to do just that.
I am sitting here watching the old television and sucking on Atomic Fire Balls, attempting to utilize commercial time productively, when it occurred to me that nothing could be more productive than writing to your fine company triggering the release of the highly anticipated nutritional facts.
For some time I have been meaning to correspond with you to tell you how excellent I believe your product to be as a stop-smoking aid and to inquire if you have ever attempted to market Atomic Fire Balls in that manner.
I fully realize that Atomic Fire Balls do not possess any nicotine or scientific means for helping people to quit however, I personally quit at least ten times or more utilizing Atomic Fire Balls supplemented by one of several other purported assistance devices (i.e.: gum, pills, patches, cigarettes).
This most recent time I have elected to only use Atomic Fire Balls to assist me in kicking my habit and am writing to report success! It’s only been a week and I have only had a few smokes in between the red-hot candies. I am also most curious to learn what nutritional value these vermilion treats possess because my diet has consisted of the above two items for the last seven days.
Additionally, I’d be most grateful to be informed what, if any, addictive qualities these mini-mouth furnaces have that may be camouflaged by their intoxicating flavor.
Ex-Smoker (fingers crossed)